I would be lying if I said I'm fine. And thats why I won't. Cause I don't want to be a hypocrite. Wouldn't it hurt more if I told you I'm fine, but I was just lying? Everyone just don't understand. Not everything can be based on what you see from the outside. There are reasons behind the things I do. I'm not upset because of the physical state of it, it's the meaning behind those scars. Everyone keeps telling me that what I'm doing is wrong. But how am I suppose to control these feelings? Do you really think its that easy? I know I'm a bitch, but I'm trying to solve this the best way possible too. You really think I don't want to forget it? I don't want what we have to end. But how am I suppose to trust you again after this?

I'm sorry for ignoring you. For giving you the cold eyes. For not acknowledging your apology. And its not only you that I need to forgive. How can I forgive you when I can't forgive myself. Its not entirely your fault. It was mine to begin with. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have done what you did. If it weren't for me, our friendship wouldn't be like this. The blame is on me.

You always call me a bloody bitch. And you're probably right. Cause I've done so many things. So many wrong things. Towards you, and towards everyone else. Sometimes I wonder if I'm worthy to be your friend. Or even a friend to anyone else. You're probably thinking why am I making such a big fuss out of something so small. Once again, its not all about this. There are other things bothering me now. Things that are affecting my judgement.