Blessing in disguise. I would love to believe that’s true, but I guess it really isn’t. I feel like I’m loosing everything I’ve ever had. I feel so useless. So weak. I can’t even protect the things that means a lot to me. Everything I ever loved, is damaged. The pain will last forever. And the fault belongs to me. Every night I ask myself; why did I allow myself to make such a mistake? Why couldn’t I be more responsible? Why, why, why. Questions after questions and never any answers. People say not to worry, look on the bright side. But how am I suppose to look for it if it doesn’t exists? How is there possibly any bright side in this situation? Things are just getting worse and its probably just the beginning of it. I do not expect much. Just a strong heart to overcome this.