Good evening!

Its a lovely day, isn't it?

NOT! Its too hot for my bangs to handle.

Yes, you heard me right, I bang my hair - as Mag puts it :P

Why would I do that? Well, people say when you cut your hair, you're cutting away your past, all the sorrow, and just starting a new life.

I say ... thats a drama show.

Hahahahah I'm trying not to be dramatic this year :)

Soo, reason for my bangs? A new look! :)

Actually, I've been wanting bangs for long, so I finally got it! Hopefully the zits dont pay a visit :P

Here's a look at the bangs!

So, how does it look?

Btw, I CUT MY OWN BANGS! Heheheeh Cool ;)

ooh, I love my YouCam and that explains the numerous poses! Got carried away :O

Thats it for now. Girls gotta study! Ciao :)

~~ piu piu

P.A.S.A.R. M.A.L.A.M. (Y)


I'm not exaggerating but its been at least 2 years since I've been to one :(
&I finally got to go to one ytd :)



Ytd, I went to the pasar malam with me friends, and gosh it was millions of funs! (grammatically WRONG!)
But yeah, I've definitely gotta be socialble again :)


Before pasar malam, I was in Phun's house, on Skype with Xing and Swen. Hahaha &so here's a treat for y'all, a really retarded picture of Xing :P

HAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAH :P :P :P

We told him to try touching his nose with his tongue, doing lala 1-10. & then we took millions of snapshots of him ;)

After laughing at Xing ..... we finally went to the pasar malam. No kidding, but I was starving!!
Soooo, we had asam laksa, chra koay teow, and har mee ;) Maan was it delicious yo!

I kinda forgot how a pasar malam works. LOL Walking around aimlessly and buying this buying that. Hahahah Actually, just buying all food :P

I GOT MY WHEEL-O!! Guessing whats that??

Its the only thing I ALWAYS buy from the pasar malam! :D

After that, we had the most thrilling ride back home. Gosh, Xing .. I know you're a good driver .. but pls ahh, control sikit ==

I swear you almost banged into a car, TWICE!

Hahaah And the highlight of our adventure? Making your 20 point turn :P
We drove into this really tight alley, thinking that we'd make it out the other end, manatau it was blocked ==
So we had to go back. &Xing had to do a 20-point-turn (actually its a 3-point-turn), while Manda and I became point-turn police (traffic police). Hahahahh!

&Not to mention, the alley was dark .. deserted ... and cold ~~~~

:P

The holidays are finally starting to feel like a holiday :D But its ending :(

I love .. friends, outings, adventure and stars! Hmm .. random :P



Ookay, gotta be socialble! Skype shall be my new best friend! Hahaahah

A glimpse of the past :)

Xing : I want the legs.
Des : Give me the legs!
Xing : Let's split the legs.
Des : Eh Xing, I can't lah.
Xing : Hold one leg open!
Mag : Aiyo, why you guys complain so much! I give you my body lah!

*burst out in laughter*

Hahaha Keep in mind, we were talking about the crab's leg and body during Manda's steamboat :P

Today ....

Jia : Where's the hair?
Xing : In your ears! Just use your fingers.
Phun : Yaa, finger your ears lah.

Laugh out LOUD !!

Hahaahh Again, keep in mind, we were talking about how alot of hair is in Jia's ears after he had his haircut and we asked him to use his fingers to take it out.


Good times ;)

Ooh, correction ... still a good time :)


Heh, had such a fun time today! Forgot what it was like to have a social life outside school :P



Btw! By the grace of God, I got my results today, and it was (Y) :D:D:D
Heh, ytd, I told God, whatever results that is given to me tmr, please let my family and I wholeheartedly accept it. God really has his ways with life :) :)










But then, there are those whom God has other plans for. I'm not always good at consolling people, but I really wanna try ... to be there for you, when others are caught up with other things. So, pick up your phone!

Nway, congrats to everyone who did so amazingly well :)
Especially me buddy, Xing! Aaah, I feel so happy for you! Like truly. Usually I'll get jealous and be like, WHY ISN'T THAT ME?? But this time, I really know how it feels to be sincerely happy for a friend! You definitely deserved it :) :)
LIVE THE MOMENT!! :D





Right .. I'm out, loves :)

Its been long since I updated right? People may think that I'm still in a state of depression if I don't. So here it is :)

Hmm, I tend to blog only when I'm in a terrible state of misery. Hahah Thats when I don't have to think before I type, cause emotions take control of the keyboard :)

Soooo now, I'm thinking, and thus, lets put on our thinking caps!

Heh :P

Just 2 days ago, I was reading Xing's blog (which was updated 93847years ago), and it brought back so many memories :)

So I was just thinking, would I want to look back at my blog, and see the sad side of my memories with a few of the most wonderful people I've ever encountered, or start blogging about happier things regarding them?

Sad. Happy. Sad. Happy. Sad. Happy. Sad. Happy ??

Hahahah. Need I choose? :)

But then again, easier said than done! This blog is like my best friend who listens to all my problems when other people won't. Sooo, I'm just saying, I'll start telling you happier stuffs too. Okie bloggy? :)

Why don't we end with a joke?

Hehehe I have a special ringtone for my mom too :P
It goes like "Your mamas calling. For no good reason but just to chat. She'll wastes your minute talking bout the cat. And how daddy has gotten fat. Don't pick up the phone, go mama go." With the Sexy Back tune :P

Hahahhaa. I loove Zits :)
Love it so much that its starting to camp on my face ==



Heh. Nights :]

I had a look at my diary just now, after many days of not doing so, and now I regret it.

I read my new year's diary entry and its said;

New year resolution :
1. Love my family
2. Love my high school friends
3. Make new memorable times with new college friends
4. Score with flying colours for SAM
5. Don't get into trouble :P


It seems like New Year Resolutions don't always work out.





I read my old entries too.
Gosh, I used to be so jubilant. Just talking about school, friends, people.
There was so much memories.. Every little detail that made me smile, I would have jotted it down. I didn't wanna miss a single moment of happiness with my friends and family.


But now, I ask myself; what am I doing?

I'm pilling myself with college work just so I don't have to think about everything that I've lost. I didn't wanna stop being busy because I knew if I did, I'll start thinking about foolish things again. But just for that moment of weakness, when I read my diary, I reminded myself of all the reasons I'm feeling sad.






My mind says stop running away, but my feet just won't listen.

Neglected.
Don't we all feel that at some point of time in our life.

I promised myself I wouldn't distant after high school. Why does it seem like I'm the first one doing just that?




I always believed that if you don't talk about it, we can still believe that it did not happen. But how come its different this time around? Neglecting the problem is slowly but surely making me feel neglected.

The connection I once had with the people around me, is now slowly fading away. That comfort I used to feel around my friends feels strange to me now. I feel this sense of awkwardness, around them - those whom I used to treat just like family. Like I'm now a stranger.

Loosing them feels like loosing a part of me. I tried to hold on so strongly to this side of me; friends. But I guess holding on too tightly to something will only make it go away faster.





I hate this feeling.

I hate trying to convince myself into thinking that things will be alright, when they never will be. All my life I've been running from problems. Everytime one is thrown at me, I'll just hide it in my closet and wait for it to just go away. Why wouldn't this one go away? Why do I feel like people are still judging me? Why do I feel like YOU ALL, are still judging me?

No one asked me about my side of the story. It was all just assumed that it was my fault. I know I've been bad, but that doesn't mean its always my blame to take. No one decided to stop all the judgemental tone and just ask me, as a concern friend, what happened.

Everytime that question popped up, it always sounds like a "what did you do this time?".
I did not choose for this to happen. I did not suddenly say; hey, you know what, I feel like ruining something good. So here it is, SHIT."
You think I didn't get it bad? Almost every morning, I wake up, asking myself, "why did this happen?". I can't help but remind myself that things are ruined. I keep trying to put that thought aside, but seriously easier said than done. Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean I'm not having a hard time. Just because I don't dwell about it doesn't mean my mind ain't right because of it. Seriously, whats the point of talking about it? Won't you all just judge me like you did before? Won't you all just takes sides? Why are there sides?!




I really hate it. Last time, whenever I'm faced with a problem, I'll just spill it out to any of my friends. No barrier or awkwardness. But now, who are my friends?


I'm out of place. I'm loosing this very important part of me, and it makes me feel like I'm loosing myself. I have no idea where I belong anymore.
All I do now is, college work. There's nothing that I look forward to now. Last time, I used to look forward to going online or just texting some friends. Now, .....








It sucks. It sucks so badly, and even more cause I can't even talk about it. It sucks so badly that I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. Hate? Anger? Depression? It all feels the same.














When will things get better?