We often forget how much of an impact we can be to someone.

I used to spend all my time after school thinking about what my friends or classmates thought about me. Whether I made a fool of myself during lunch, or offended someone while cracking up a joke. If someone were to told me I did something wrong to someone, it'll bug me the whole day. Making me think about what I can do to make things better.

I hate that feeling. The feeling of living your life, thinking about why other people aren't satisfied with you.
Which was why, if you had noticed, I closed my blog.

I closed my blog, deactivated Facebook, stoppped texting, stopped onlining.

Just trying to run away. I was so tired. So tired of responding to judgemental questions. So tired of pretending. So tired of people.
I had some time to myself. Just living life, for myself. It was like breathing new air.

But I realised, spending my days just for myself isn't worth it. God gave me life, so that I can give life to someone else. If I could make a difference to someone, wouldn't that be amazing? That'll be a dream.

But you know what, you can judge me all you want, you can gossip about me (because I may be doing the same. Heheh). No matter what you say, I'll still be here. But not for you, for those who'll actually appreciate my presence.

Helloo, dear faithful followers :) [mostly just the two indians whom I sayang banyak. hehehe]

Sorry! For being sooo the very sad lately. Hahahah!

Its just that, this blog is meant for me to blab out everything when I'm sad or angry!

So, too bad :P

But just to show you I have a less emotional side, imma post bout smtg else today :)

Hey, its the most ROMANTIC day of the year ....

sooooo, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !
it took soo looong for me to do that ==

How did you spend your day? :)

Well, I spent it ... single, again. It doesn't seem all that bad. The highlight of today was Snowflakes with Xing & Jia. Aww, couldn't get any better than that, actually :)

Yo, speaking of being romantic, tonight was kinda romantic. I had Thai food for dinner! Gosh, SUPER spicy! Well, it ignited my lips for the night. HAHAH x)

Ooh, I looked up at the sky, and the moon was shining so brightly! The stars were glimmering ever so shyly and the clouds were swaying slowly wherever the wind took them. Aah, love doing that each night :) & I did all that with my parents! Love you, daddy mommy x)

Who says you can only enjoy Valentine's Day if you have a lover? I enjoyed my night, just staring at the wonders of God's work. How the "moonlight bathes the contours of your face" - Don Mclean - Hahahaha!


So, enjoy the rest of the day guys. &even if the world won't wanna share Vday with you, I'm always just a text away :) unless if I ran out of credit :P


Btw, if you're wondering who's the cute bear, he's BUDSTER! :)
My one and only Valentine's gift from last year. And no, he's not from my non-excistence boyfriend, it was given to me by 3 of the funniest, lamest, strangest yet my most treasured buddies, Shamand Syahir Vino :) :)


Peace!

I don't care if strangers judge me.
I don't like it when friends judge me.
I hate it when family judge me.

I'm not perfect. I know that. You aren't either.

Who am I to say, 'stop judging people' when I too commit that sin. I'm only human. Lured to sin by temptation. But I do try. I try to be nicer, I try to do better. But you never seem to understand that. 'Don't judge people' - however imperfect you can be, doesn't that at least apply to your family members?

I'm not some picture that you painted. You can't just change me however you want. I am who I am, when will you learn to understand that? And don't act like you know me so well. How can you know me better than myself? Don't judge me based on what I appear to be. I may be smiling, but I'm breaking inside. I may be jumping, but I'm falling inside. Don't look at me, and make judgements just because you think you know me well. If you really did know me that well, we wouldn't be at an impasse now.


I'm just sick of people making judgement about me.
Wrong judgements.



If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.

Almond shaped eyes with what seems like almost the perfect set of double eye-lids ( which I envy oh-so-MUCH! ). Rosy cheeks which adds so much colour to your already brightened face. Aah, I'm speaking like a lesbian, but if I were to turn lesbian, it's probably because of you. Not because you're beautiful, but because that heart of yours shines so much brighter than mine :)

I can truly say, you are my Destinee ! Hahahah Don't you just love how your name compliments every sentence people make? ( Oh, if you listen to Phil Collin's You'll Be In My Heart, there's one line where he says; When destiny calls you, you must be strong. HAHAH! So true. When Destinee calls me, I must be strong :P Btw, you've still not called me == )

How long has it been since we blogged about people for their birthdays? Hahaha. I don't usually do this, but you are the only exception ;)

How cliche can I go with you? "Through ups and downs you've always been with me"? Okay, must I really state the obvious. Hahah
If anyone were to ask me why you're one of my besties in the whole wide world, I'll just answer, because you're you :) No lies, not even a tinge of sarcasm. You're truly amazing just the way you are.

Let me bring us back to when we started. YOU BETTER CONTINUE READING! x)
We weren't really close in Form 1 or 2. It was only in Form 3, when we were in the same class, that we really connected and somehow ended up spending every living school moment together. Hahahah No complains here. Except that I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE! LOL
Rmb how you'll always say "we're stuck together". We really are :)

I guess it really was fate that brought us together, bestie. Even when we were in Leo, I never really thought of you as President nor I of Vice. I'm not being rude :P But, I've always seen it as us, together, running a family. Hahah "Ketua Rumah" x) If I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't have picked anyone else in the world besides you. Cross my heart, that is the truth :)

Being best friends with someone doesn't just mean telling that person your secret or spending every living moment together. It actually means understanding each other and just being yourself around them, whether you're feeling good or bad. And you are one of the people I can feel like that with. Around you, there's no deception, or masks, or whatever. I'm just .. ME.

Distance will not draw us apart, I assure you that. True friendship aren't bound by time nor distance. We're besties. Like you said, we're stuck together :)

Ooops, this really sounds like a love letter :P
Des, it just goes without saying that I'm always always here. Whether we're in different colleges, or that we live years apart, or that I sometimes don't reply you, I'm still just a phone call away (YOU BETTER CALL ME THE NEXT TIME YOU SAY SO!)

Even if the whole world won't believe you, I would.
Even if the whole world says your hair looks weird, I'll tell you the truth. ( hey, if it IS weird, I gotta say smtg right? :P )


How else should I end this if its not with a MERRY HAPPY JOLLY BIRTHDAY!
One year older makes no difference to thy ageless beauty.
Hahhahah! I'm a poet :)




YO WOMAN. THIS BETTER NOT BE THE ONLY LINE YOU'RE READING! I TRUST THAT YOU READ MY HEARTFELT POST OKAY! ITS NOT EVERYDAY THAT PPL GET A SPECIAL POST FROM ME! PEACE :)

In times of doubt, I bow my head, ask for Your forgiveness and turn to You in prayer.

I've never stopped asking. Maybe because that's all I've ever known how to do. What I mean to say is, why do we ask, but never give?

We always expect things to be easy. We expect to receive whatever we ask for, to gain whatever we worked for. Things aren't always so simple, if it was, we wouldn't be living.
Life is bigger than just you and me. The world is like the beach, and we're just that one grain of sand. How small, how tiny, but when added to all the other grains, we form the beach. Does my metaphor make any sense? :)

In life, we tend to search endlessly for things which empower us. Materialistic things which show our wealthiness, our power. Having more does not stop us from wanting more. Do we not realise that these things will just be left behind after we're dead?

We always ask for things that'll feed our unending lust for material things, but we never ask for things that'll feed our spirit, that'll feed our soul. Why are we so ignorant? This blindness has been leading on for too long. So much so that we start believing that there is nothing hardwork can not gain. I'm not saying that's wrong.. but because of that mindset, we make ourself believe that mankind is power. That mankind can do everything. The truth is, we can't. We can part the sea, we can't walk on water or awaken the dead. Men are imperfect, and we fail to remind ourselves of that.

Humility. Do we not understand that word any longer? Look up, be awaken. We have to admit that we are incomplete, as imperfect as we are. We have to once again find our reason to live. Don't waste your life, but live your life for a purpose that is bigger than yourself.


I guess my point is, we shouldn't ask for things like, an iPhone even though we have a Sony phone. ( thats me :P )
Need versus want. We need food, we want a chocolate sundae. Big different!

For a change, look around, be grateful. Don't ask for things to feed your ego. Instead, search for things to feed your heart. Hope, faith, love :)