Expectations.

Why do people expect things? To expect is to feel. You expect because you feel like something might happen. And we all know what happens when you feel things. You break down.
So why do people still expect? I expected alot from you. And unsurprisingly, you're showing me all the opposite of what I expect of you. Which is why, I stopped expecting. I stopped wondering. I stopped feeling. That somehow comes across as being cold, heartless. But how do you expect me to feel something when I know that there's so much in line if things go wrong? Before this, I expected the same things you expect from me. Just to be treated a little bit nicer. But then it all changed when I figured out things weren't as easy as abc.
My mind is scattered now. I just wish I knew what you're really thinking about.

It was sunset. The last rays of the evening sun coloured the sky yellow, and the clouds blush a shy shade of pink. The sand was soft beneath our toes as we created tracks while walking down the beach. Your hands felt warm in mine and your fingers were sheepishly playing with mine. We strolled down the beach with no words but just a silent smile on our faces which told our story vividly. I could feel the breeze brushing agaisnt my cheeks when you reached out your hands and gently pushed a log of my hair off my cheeks. Your fingers felt cold againts my face, sending chills down my spine. The ocean water splashed our feet, sending us a tingly feeling as it retreated back to its ocean. This was the moment :)

The sun was out of sight, when the moon rose up and took its place in the sky. Tonight, the moon wasn't alone. The stars twinkled beside the moon, as if they were playing a familiar game. We laid down on the sand, staring into the sky, inhaling the sweet scent of the ocean. Listening to the waves of the sea splash at the sea was calming, but listening to your familiar velvet voice in my ears were much more charming. The environment was extremely serene that night. I can't decide if it was the cool night, or just the company. The night was easy, as we talked like we've known each other since pre-school. Simplicity was my thing. I can't decide if it was the beautiful moon and shining stars that made my dream a memorable one. Or you, my faceless boyfriend :) Hahaa

There are so many rivalry out there. And it sucks to know that we turned out like this. Laughing with each other and joking around, but behind, they're just all lies. Those smiles, compliments, hugs...just lies. But isn't that what being human is about? Lying to save your ass? How come we don't love each other like we used to? How come we're judging every time we see each other but no one has the guts to voice anything out? If you asked me to choose, I never will can. So, when will anyone step up to stop this rivalry? This silent, hypocrisy? Should I stand up?

"True friendship is when people know all about you but like you anyway."

Isn't it funny how two people can be so close to each other, but behind the scenes, they actually dislike each other so much? Yes, I know that feeling. Just that, I'm the judgemental one. Because of my judgemental self, I destroyed our friendship. Because of my insecurities, I blamed you for what happened. I know that now, and I'm sorry. I hope that you forgave me after I confessed to you because everything seems so easy now. I still love you :)