Hey y'all (;

Exams are finally over and I can officially declare that I'm a free soul now! *thumbs up
Well, I gotta admit that rebelling is much more fun when you're actually rebelling.
Like now, I can go online anytime, sleep anytime, and do whatever anytime.
Where's the fun in breaking the rules then?
Ohwells, I only have another month before college starts. So make the best out of it right? ;)

Just a lil' something I was doing, DURING exams. Hahahah! See, rebelling IS fun x)

Take a step back from your life, and stop to view others. You'll see, you're not the only one that feels.

Sometimes, things really aren't as they seem. People too, aren't always what the appear to be. Most of us put on a mask without even knowing it. If you don't hear it, doesn't mean they never told you. If you don't see it, doesn't mean they never showed you. If you don't know it, doesn't mean it never existed. If you take the initiative to ask, you will know. If you don't, you'll always live with the wrong idea. & I've been living with the wrong idea for too long.

Point is.. Stop, reverse and hand out a simple "Are you okay?". It'll save a day.

Yess! Drastic change to my blog, no more emotional dreadful posts. We're being optimistic today :)) And hopefully every other day too!
Hmm, I'm quite aware that nobody reads this at all. But then again, I'm quite used to talking to the wall, or the computer or the air x)

So, history is finally HISTORY! *thumbs up for that. thank you very much :)
And I'm finally having a break. At least like a 3days break before the war starts again.
Oh, Shiva says; The game isn't over until the final whistle, the match isn't over until the final point.
So the point is...the battle is so not over yet :(( *a moment of silence to truly feel the sorrow of the situation please.






OVER!


Hmm, I have no idea what I'm doing online when everyone else is OUT! Yes, repeat, they are OUT! Maan, I should have gone out too, but knowing me, walking under the blazing sun would've been agonizing! I suppose I should just get off now and go to bed :) Since the bed is where we find the pleasure within. Hahaha Wipe those wiggly eyebrows off, I meant to say some decent sleep :D

After a good siesta, its off to calculations :) Heey, no complains this week x)
Tataa C:

Why do we choose to feel sadness? Out of all the emotions in this world, why sadness? Some can shut it out whenever they want to, but some let the emotion take control of us and feed its need instead of our own. Some, like myself, fall to our knees upon sadness. When we're showered with sadness, we don't run along to shelter, instead we stand under the rain, just letting the sadness consume us, leaving us drenched with depression. Why do we do that? Why do we keep reminding ourselves of the sad parts of the day instead of looking for light in the darkness? Because we are insecure. We're unsure of the future, and we're unsure of our commitment to the present.

I feel like I'm loosing grip of what I have. I know schools about to end. So what? School will end. And we will go to college. There's nothing anyone can do about that. But why am I fussing over it? Why am I so upset when everyone seem to have accepted that fact? Why is it that I keep pondering about the problem which is an impasse? We all know life is but a journey. You cant travel the same road twice, but you can journey on to a new road, new experience, new people. I know what I need to do. But whether I can do it or not, is just another question. Jan, just wake up. Smell the air, the truth. Stop living in your dream. We're leaving high school. We're leaving each other. Full stop.

People say, an end to high school doesn't mean an end to friendship. But why do I feel like I'm already beginning to lose touch of people I love? Its like, I'm not in the girls gang anymore. Heh Why is that even a surprise? I doubt I was ever really in it. Since primary school, I was never really in the girls gang. I used to choose 'ice and fire' over gossip periods. And also punk rock boy bands over girl groups. Girls never chose me from the bunch, because I never stood out. Its just lately that they have been doing things without me. Is it my stupid emotional state thats giving off terrible vibe that keeps them away? Or are they just not so into making friends with me anymore? Whatever it is, I'm loosing touch. And school hasn't even end yet. Its all pretty clear that I'm just feeling pathetic about my life. Who wants to make friends with a sadist?

And then there's you. My friend. You weren't just any friend, I trusted you very much. You were like that little joy to my day's end. Someone who I thought was close to my other half. But then again, my judgement towards people were usually wrong. I always thought you were too good to be true. The words you said, the promises you made. I always knew you weren't the person I imagined you to be. But its just that sometimes you manage to live up to my expectations, and beyond that too. And those small moments keep me lingering on to you for much longer than I was suppose to. I always tell myself, "Maybe you'll surprise me. Maybe it's different this time." But it never was. I don't want to pretend anymore. I can't be like you. Not even half like you. I'm just not carefree. Nor do I mean it when I say, "I'm okay" because most of the time I'm not. But what difference does it make, voicing it out. Maybe there is this part of you that really cares for me. Maybe there isn't. But its just so tiring to linger around and wait for you to show that side of you which may or may not exists. So, I guess its better this way. We're slowly letting go, like its better left untold.

Jan, if there's one thing you need to tell yourself is that, life is a grey area. There's no right or wrong. There's no yes or no. There's no do or don't. Life is what you make of it. Live it to the fullest and you'll learn to live with the consequences of your mistakes. Live it with doubts and you'll forever drown in regrets. Why do you want to leave school remembering the last few days as a solemn piece of memory. Choose to remember something you love as ... well, something you love. Make the right choice now, make the difference!

WAKE UP! Slap me please :(

This post goes out to my friend, with multiple amounts of personalities :)

First, he's the gangster. But as time past, and bonds start to form, he's the friend. And if you're so lucky to break pass his shield, he's the best friend :) So which category am I in? Hahah

You see, life is like a journey, and it makes so much sense when you think about it with a deeper thought. You explore new places, choose where you want to go, and which road you'll want to take. There's too many places in this world, whether they are different countries, states, cities or even mere street roads. We can never manage to travel every single road in this world. Same goes to life. There's many choices that we'll have to make, and like the poem, 'The Road Not Taken', we find that we won't be able to experience every opportunity life offers us. There comes a time where you're tied between decisions which may lead to an impasse. You cross your fingers, pray in your heart and walk down your chosen road, hoping for the best. And if you're lucky, you'll be strolling with a smile on your face :)

As I look back now, I know that the road I chose, though sometimes shaky and cold, but the view was spectacular :) Hey, what's life without some bumps? Hahaha. So now, we look back with gratefulness, and face front with courage. Choose a new road, make a few wrong turns and laugh at it later :D

It was a rainy morning. But Kayla wasn't complaining. The breeze was cool, brushing against her cheeks, sending jitters down her spine. This was the best weather to start a new day, she thought. Today's routine was different. No books, no friends, no technology. Just a visit back to the old house. This visit was important, she knew, but she couldn't care less. Her goal was to go there, smile a little, and leave as soon as possible. It all seem irrelevant to her. But when she stepped out of the car and into the house, the flashback starts filling her mind. The house still had that familiar scent - old, husky yet somehow comforting. She stood there behind the gates, dumbfounded before she was greeted with a warm welcome of a dog's bark, Bambi. It seemed much smaller beside her all grown up body. The turtle was still there too, in the same pail, right outside the front door. It was bigger now, than it used to be ten years ago. She remembered vividly the placing of each and every thing outside and inside that house. Nothings changed since she left.

It was not before Kayla entered the house that she felt remorse filling her guts. Why didn't I spend more time in here, she thought. She walked to the back of the house, and there she saw her, standing in the kitchen, Grandma. Grandma seemed much smaller than Kayla remembered. Her hair was as white as snow, her wrinkles visible behind those thick lens glasses and she barely reached Kayla's ears even when she stood up tall. Though she looked weak and vulnerable, but her eyes glimmered with hope when she caught sight of Kayla. Kayla felt the tears stinging her eyes, but she fought it back because the old lady was grinning with happiness and Kayla didn't want to ruin the moment with depression. Without thinking twice, Kayla ran up to Grandma and gave her a big hug. She knew that she didn't have to say anything. Words will not explain half the emotions shown by her through that hug. Grandma knew how Kayla felt, but she did not say anything, because she knew, all they need was that moment of silence, to truly appreciate each other again.


It goes to say, we never know when we're about to lose something, or someone, for that matters. Every second of our life counts and it doesn't count for ourselves only, but it counts for others too. Why don't people appreciate the small acts of others anymore? One simple act, like a hug, can bring back so much memories, memories which have been buried long time ago. Sometimes its not the dollar sign on a present that counts, its the thought behind it that truly moves a person. Its not everyday that you will get to share a moment with the ones you love. So appreciate each moment, build the memories, and never forget those who love you :)

If its yours, there's no need holding on to it. Because even if it goes away, it'll eventually come back.

For now, just let the chips fall where they may.